One Year.

Today marks the one year anniversary of the blog. I have felt a longing to write more, but knowing that mom's journey on earth is over I have struggled to continue.

I was overwhelmed and so grateful for the amazing turnout at the funeral. I hoped for more time to visit with those of you who traveled so far. Thank you for being there.

If you didn't make it or were there and didn't get a program I do have more and would be happy to send a copy to you if you send me your address: johnval10@msn.com

We got a lot of comments about the beautiful picture of mom on the cover of the program and I need to thank Dion Seneca for her photography talents.

The "in lieu of flowers" donations that we have received for the 1st grade level library at Coral Canyon Elementary have been so appreciated. The staff is thrilled and we are so grateful. I have had a few more requests for the address of the school:
3435 Canyon Crest Ave. Washington, UT 84780


Everyday I miss something about mom. Having the perspective I do from losing dad, I know that time will help heal. I know that she will continue to be a part of all of our lives because her influence doesn't end with her death. I am so grateful for the wonderful memories that were shared, the kind words spoken to comfort us, and the continued love that we feel from you.

I pray that our own journey will reflect mom's incredible energy and spunk for life.

The End.

Funeral Services

Thursday April 8th 6:00-7:30pm Visitation

Friday April 9th 2:30-3:30 Visitation
4:00pm Funeral

Both days will be at the Sky Mountain Chapel in Hurricane.
452 N 2600 W (Turn between the Days Inn and Comfort Inn off of Highway 9.)
Spilsbury Mortuary is taking care of the arrangements.

We thank you for all of the love and support that you continue to show.

Easter Morning.

Mom passed away this morning around 2:00am. I have pictured her being embraced by the Savior, dad, her dad, my Natalie, and so many other loved family members and friends. It has been an amazing journey.

I know that it is a tender mercy that she waited until the day that we reflect on the Resurrection of Jesus Christ as the day that she moved on from this earthly world. Her last testimony to us that she knows that the plan of happiness is real. As my heart hurts with sorrow that she won't be here with us in the flesh I have no doubt that she will be continue to be a guiding light to us all.

How grateful I am for the faith of my parents.

Unpredictable.

I truly thought that the last post would be the last post while mom was still living. She has been hanging on a lot longer that any of us predicted. We continue to keep someone with her around the clock and her two sisters took over last night. What a blessing to have such a wonderful family.

We realize that many of you are awaiting the news of when services for her might be. This is all tentative...we don't have control over everything...but Thursday night we will hold some sort of visitation. Mom requested that she not have an open casket so it will be a time to visit with us and each other. Friday afternoon we will hold the service at about 4:00. We hope this helps give you some idea of where we are, but please forgive us if things change a little.

Thank you for your prayers.
Val

Nearing the end.

Mom has been asleep for the most part of the last 24 hours. She doesn't even wake up for medicine now, but we continue to administer it as the hospice nurse instructed. Our dear nurse, Leslie, told us earlier today that mom is very near to what they term "actively dying." Her breathing patterns have changed and her heart rate is very high. Leslie can tell what a fighter mom is and cannot predict exactly when mom will finish her battle here on earth, but she does think it will be soon.

We appreciate so much Leslie's care of mom and on a personal note, I am so grateful that she has been able to feel mom's spirit and spunk. In Leslie's line of work she sees many people move on from this life and she has shared that she knows there are angels among us. Both for mom and for the family and friends. I hope that as all of you have followed this journey that you have felt the comfort that we have. Pray for a peaceful release.
Val

Tender Moments

I do apologize for waiting so long in between this post and the last. The truth is that we are doing the best we can to make mom comfortable and it seems to be getting harder and harder to do that. She is very weak and mostly confused now. We do see glimpses of the strong and couragous mother that we know, but those moments are becoming few and far between.

We had a tender moment with mom and the four of us kids yesterday. We were all together for a few hours after Jenn arrived again and before Becky went home for some rest. We know she loves us and we love her so much. Thank you for your continued prayers of comfort and peace. They are working!

A spank.

It is hard to believe it is already Wednesday. Joel and Kristan stayed Sunday and Monday night with mom. I showed up yesterday mid-day to help out and mom had been refusing her medications. The whole situation was a little bit ironic to be honest. I refused to swallow pills as a teenager and still to this day I do not like anyone watching me get one down. So I am sitting there encouraging mom to take her pills so that she won't be constipated and she won't experience pain. She keeps telling me she can't do it (talk about coming full circle) and I am telling her that she can and should. So she says, "Val, if you don't stop I am going to spank you." I gave up after that. Still afraid of mom after all of these years!

The hospice nurse encouraged her and she has been better the last 24 hours about taking what she needs. She woke up this morning wanting a shower which she hasn't wanted in a couple days. She is also sleeping more and I believe more deeply. Today she had a 2 1/2 hour nap. The hospice chaplain came by today and asked if mom had been talking to anyone that we couldn't see. I told him no, but she did ask who's baby was on the floor (in a completely empty area) ...NOT MINE!

I feel like we are in a holding pattern right now. She has said that she doesn't want visitors anymore, but she is still taking a few bites of food everyday and drinking a little Boost and water. More often than not I feel like she is somewhere else. I wish she would speak up a little more and tell us what she is seeing. I truly believe that we are being comforted through all of the prayers for mom and our family. We continue to be blessed. Thank you.

Sleeping.

Mom slept most of the day today. She isn't bleeding anymore which is such a blessing. She is very confused and somewhat unresponsive when she is awake. John brings up a good point. Even though she is confused, she is still smiling. She doesn't appear to be angry or upset about her lot in life at this time. When we tell her we love her she always gives a beautiful smile and returns the affection. We can tell how powerful love is in her life.

Oxygen.

Mom continues to inspire us with her courage even during her final days. She is grateful and maintains a sense of humor through it all. She received oxygen yesterday because her levels have been low. She does get a little anxious at times, asking people where they are going and when they will be back. She reads her mail and sits at the computer for a few minutes each day. It is a very slow process trying to write back. She also is enjoying a few movies each day.

She slept really well last night. I think it is because the gums aren't bleeding like they were! I was at the house for about three hours today and I didn't see her wipe any blood the entire time. That was so great!

She has a sister and a sister-in-law staying with her tonight. She continues to receive so much support. Thank you. Thank you.
Val

Hope for Comfort.

The appointment with Dr. Haslem today was a confirmation of things that we think we already knew, but it was still important to hear it from him. His blood tests confirmed DIC...which basically means that her blood won't clot because the cells are battling each other and it is a side effect of the cancer. There isn't anything that can be done to stop the bleeding.

With those results he did tell her that there isn't anything else he can do for her. He told her not to give up hope. At this point we hope for comfort. I liked the way he put that. With what little time she does have left he recommended staying comfortable and spending time with those she loves. We have also adjusted her pain meds so that we will just use the patches and morphine.

We will go back on hospice now and hopefully have someone staying with her through the night. The family that has been here has been incredible, but it is time to call in the professionals! I continue to read her cards, email and facebook messages to her and she has tried to respond when she has the energy...she is thinking of each of you and is so grateful for the love. I did notice that she has tried to tell people to read the blog for the latest info. She may be lacking the ability to respond to everyone and feels overwhelmed and frustrated at times.

We are doing our best to make mom feel comfortable and loved. We apologize when we have to turn away visitors or phone calls, but please know that we are grateful for all of you.

Enduring.

Not a lot has changed over the course of the last few days. Mom continues to rest and has been working her mind with Sudoku and a few visitors. She got out to walmart yesterday with Brian and picked up some thank you cards that she wanted to write. Always thinking of others. We continue to be humbled by the cards in the mail, flowers in the house, and food that is given. We are truly blessed to have such giving people in our midst. Thank you, thank you.

Today is Friday!

We have all been fascinated lately by mom's inability to keep track of her days. On Wednesday she told us about four times that the next day was Sunday. Her concept of when things have happened or will happen is not quite right. We think lack of sleep and a lot of medication is impairing her abilities.

Two of Brian's daughters and mom's best friend from New Mexico are staying with mom now. They will leave in the next day or two and Jenn will return tomorrow. We are grateful for the quick visits and food that has been given.

On a Roller-Coaster Ride!

Mom received a telephone call yesterday morning from a special friend encouraging her to seek out more advice on her case. We rallied quickly and were "squeezed in" to a Doctor Haslem who specializes in hematology (blood). He explained that her numbers were somewhat strange. For someone who is bleeding so much for so long, her numbers weren't matching. He ordered some blood tests that we should hear the results from in just over a week.

We had to cancel hospice on the way into that appointment, but we are able to keep the equipment through home health care with the same company. It is a blessing that everything has continued to work out for mom. We are trying to do what she wants. She is an obedient daughter of God who is receiving answers to her prayers.

She is at the hospital today receiving another transfusion. She should return home late this afternoon. We continue to hear from so many loved ones and appreciate so much your offers of service. Mom just tells people to pray for her. We are trying to read her emails and facebook messages to her or you may continue to call my cell: 435-668-4395
Thanks, Val

Special Time

Hi All - Jenni here. Val asked me to update the blog tonight. We've had a few days with ups and downs but Mom is so strong and continues to inspire all of us with her courage.

She arrived home from the hospital on Friday around noon and had a decent night although sleep is very difficult for her because the bleeding just will not stop. Saturday she had what she described as a "great day" - she felt pretty good despite the continued bleeding, we were able to manage her pain with consistent medication and she spent the day with a few visits and some good movies.

One of the visits was from some of the first grade moms and teachers who delivered a BEAUTIFUL QUILT with colorful fabric, handprints from all the first graders and a neat poem. Mom LOVED it!!!

Last night however, was a very difficult one and she got very little sleep and the bleeding still continues. Today has been a continuation of nausea, vomiting, a fever and lots more bleeding. Due to a lack of sleep and perhaps a lack of oxygen to the brain, Mom has been keeping us somewhat entertained with random comments here and there. We had a hospice nurse come in this morning to check her vitals and to help us monitor her - Gina (the nurse) was very helpful in talking us through what is to come.

While, as a family, we are aware that these are our final days with Mom, we all recognize what a special gift time really is.

Many thanks to all who continue to fast and pray for Mom. She has requested that we pray for her bleeding to stop so that she can receive desperately needed rest.

We know that so many love Mom and would like to express that love to her. We are hoping to give Mom the time that she needs to rest so please call ahead before stopping by. Val's contact info is listed below. Thank you!

If I had a crystal ball...

We have had a long two and a half days at the hospital and unfortunately the news isn't good. I will try and let you know what I know, but without a crystal ball we really can't predict the future. Mom just came home from being pumped at the hospital with platelets and blood and all the good pain killers. Her gums have yet to stop bleeding and we hear from the doctor that her blood just won't clot anymore. It may be a side effect of her liver shutting down from the cancer taking over. It was decided that she wouldn't seek more treatment because her body just can't handle anymore.

The doctor said that mom possibly has a month left to live. The news is tough, but at this point we believe that relief from pain would be a great gift.

We had a family meeting last night with mom, Brian, and the four of us kids. It was a tender time and I just want you all to know how proud I am of mom. She is scared of what the next small amount of time may bring, but definitely has a testimony that her Heavenly Father loves her and is aware of her.

We have called upon hospice to help out now. They already have a bed and a few other items set up at home. We will figure out a schedule for the nurses to come in and administer pain meds.

We realize that many want to call or visit and we would love for you to be able to visit with mom. But we want to be respectful of giving her some down time as well so we are asking that you call or visit between 9-12 and 3-8. Please don't hesitate to call me if you want to know ahead of time if it is a good time to come visit: 435-668-4395.

I will continue to update more regularly and am so grateful for everyone's concern and love for mom.
Val

2 AM Phone Call

Don't you just love those? Mom's gums were bleeding all day yesterday and just wouldn't stop so G.G. (grandma) took her to the ER at about midnight. I got a call about 2 to let me know what was going on. They admitted mom to the hospital where she is scheduled to remain until tomorrow. She received two bags of platelets and two units of blood earlier in the day and when I talked to her this evening she was in the process of receiving more platelets. It was a long day and mom didn't get a whole lot of rest. Hopefully tonight will be a peaceful one for her.

The Dr. said there is one more chemo drug to try, but that mom also has the option of saying that she has had enough. Jenni and Becky will come to town tomorrow so we can make some decisions as a family. It is a challenging time, but we know that the Lord is aware of us and that the Holy Ghost is comforting us through it.

Please pray for mom to have a clear mind as she makes some tough decisions. We really appreciate all of the wonderful notes, flowers, and thoughts of love and support. Please know that we love you.
Val

Constant Pain.

It has been over a month since the last post and I hardly know what to share at this point. Mom has been in almost constant pain. I will see if I can catch up chronologically with the physical and emotional struggles she has had.

We were thrilled with the news that she didn't have tumors in her brain, but the pain in her back continued to bother her. She was having a hard time making it through her days at school. She started a new chemo drug that is really aggressive and has more intense side effects. Nausea is probably the most intense, but with all the pain meds she was experiencing dry mouth, constipation, fatigue. You name it she was experiencing it. It was taking a toll.

The district office invited her in to talk about her options: it boiled down to the point that if she didn't want a lapse in her benefits and could continue to receive some income that she should "quit immediately." That decision just about broke her heart. She is very loyal to the 1st graders and I will be surprised if you don't catch her volunteering.

Over the course of the last week we had appointments with the oncologist and radiologist to discuss how to manage the pain and why there was so much pain. The radiologist ordered an MRI on her L3 area and we were surprised to learn that there is a crack. I didn't hear the options, but they have to do with adhesive or radiation. We will learn more this week.

Needless to say, anyone in constant pain is going to have really rough days. We pray that mom will find some relief. She has decisions to make about her current treatment plan and we know that she will do what is best for her.

Thank you always for your continued prayers and support.
Val

Her brain looks good!

Dr. Richards (the radiologist) called mom today and told her that her brain was clear of tumors except for one shadow of one that seemed pretty insignificant. That was really great news. We then went in for a consult with Dr. Manalo (the oncologist). She is recommending that mom get her dose of carboplatin in smaller amounts every week instead of the larger dose every three weeks. Mom likes the idea and will begin that process in two weeks. This should allow the platelets not to drop so drastically like they did the last time she received the carboplatin.

I don't know if I will say this next part exactly right, but the doctor also mentioned that the levels of her blood work signify that the tumors aren't as active...which of course is good news.

Overall it seemed to be a good news day.
Thanks for your continued prayers and support.
Val

P.S. For those that might be interested...Joel and Kristan's wedding photographer posted a few pictures on her website/blog. They flash across the top of the screen and then Kristan has quite a few bridals if you scroll down.
http://blog.ravenbergphotography.com

2010 is here!

Difficult to believe we are well on our way into 2o1o. The holidays went by quickly. There were a few bummer moments...like mom spending Christmas dinner at the hospital having to get an infusion of platelets. Then a few days later having a blood transfusion because her anemia was so bad. She couldn't get chemo on the 29th, but this last Tuesday she did get her dose of Avastin. Tomorrow she is scheduled for a brain MRI to see if the brain tumors have stayed away.

The good moments definitely outshone the tough ones this season. We celebrated the marriage of Joel and Kristan in the St George temple with a really awesome party with lots of family and friends. Mom danced the night away. We really appreciate everyone that traveled so far and made such sacrifices to be there. We are so blessed. Hope everyone has stuck to all those New Year's Resolutions so far. I didn't set any goals this year...it just makes me feel bad when I can't accomplish them! Here's to a ...I can't think of the right word...peaceful, hopeful, happy, productive, humbling, amazing new year!

A Really Great Week!

Mom had such a great week. After school she shopped and baked almost everyday. What a relief to have a few weeks off of school and a time to prepare for Christmas and a wedding! We hope that this week you are able to enjoy some moments of peace and reflect on the birth of Christ and the miracle that his life truly was. Through all of the chaos of the season we pray for joy and love for you and your families.
Merry Christmas!
Val

Pull out the blow-dryer!

Mom was quite thrilled to tell me tonight that she actually dried her hair with a blow-dryer after her shower this morning! Her hair is growing in quite well, but Joel told her he couldn't really see a difference in the style after all of her hard work! She said it felt so warm though...that's what really matters!

Don't forget to keep voting for mom up until Friday the 18th.

She has been feeling really well the last two days. No naps either! She is really looking forward to her few weeks off from school.

Mom had a surprise visit on Sunday evening from her Bishop and Stake President. It was a wonderful visit and President Gubler gave a comforting prayer. It really uplifted mom's spirit to know that they cared enough to visit.

Hope your holidays are full of love, family and friends!
Val

Extreme Makeover!

If you click on http://star98online.com/page.php?page_id=12583 you will be able to read a wonderful letter that our friend Ricki wrote when she nominated mom for an extreme makeover. You can vote as many times as you would like! She is #3!

Thanks Ricki for loving mom so much. Everything you said was right on!
Val

Avastin

Mom got a call from Dr. Manalo today to come and see her asap. Since she is leaving early tomorrow morning for San Francisco we headed into the office together late this afternoon. The PET scan did not have good news. The cancer has returned to areas in her back, has grown on her liver, and the tumor in her lung has also grown. With that said, the Dr has ordered a new line of treatment. One we had originally wanted, but couldn't because it was in her brain, but as a second line treatment it is available if the insurance approves it.

We have heard wonderful things about Avastin. It isn't chemo, but is an inhibitor and will stop the blood supply to the cancerous areas. She will take this along with carboplatin that she was using two months ago.

Mom was emotional after she heard the news. It is frustrating when things don't go the way you want them to. But she is willing and hoping that the new drug will work.

We hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and remember to give thanks to all those around you. Thanks for your continued support.
Val

Anybody still out there?

I cannot believe how much time has passed since the last entry. Well, let's fill you in on the latest. Mom went down to the one chemo drug and unfortunately it has created a variety of not-so-fun side effects. I will name a few that I can remember...her feet hurt, her body aches, her back is sore, she pulled a muscle in her neck, she felt nauseous...you get the idea. Characteristic of mom though, she hasn't let it stop her.

She hasn't missed a day of work except for the Dr. appointments, helped with the school carnival, she attended Time Out for Women, went up north to watch a soccer game and visit with family, had parent/teacher conferences, and frankly, too many other things to mention.

She did have an especially emotional week last week as we remembered my dad's passing six years ago. I know that she still misses him greatly.

At her appointment today she found out that she isn't anemic anymore and is grateful not to have to get the red blood cell shot. She will have a PET scan on Friday to check to make sure that all of the ache in her back isn't the cancer growing again. I will let you know the results when I get them.

As we head into the holiday season I hope that we can all remember our many blessings and show an increase of gratitude to those people in our lives who mean so much to us. I include all of you who love mom as people I am so grateful for. We are blessed to call you friends.

The news.

Mom got a call from Dr. Richards (her radiologist) today with the results of the brain MRI she had yesterday. He said all but one of the eight tumors is gone. The one still there is 1.1cm and is smaller than previously. That was great news. She isn't scheduled to see him again until January. I asked her how much hair she might have by Christmas now that she won't need any radiation on her brain...her response, "more than I have now." with a smile!

Her appointment with Dr. Manalo went well also. Her large mass in her lung is still there as is the tumor (or tumors? I don't know) on her liver, but they haven't grown since the last scan. So she is now just on alimta every three weeks indefinitely. The doctor told us that her longest success story on alimta was over two years...and they had to stop it because the almost 80 year old woman started suffering from dementia. The doctor assured us that dementia isn't a side effect of alimta.

Overall, mom felt positive about the results and has made a goal to eat better than she has previously. She is thrilled not to have to get the bone shot, but will remain on iron, potassium, folic acid, b12 and a few other things to keep her body strong.

She stopped off at the store on her way home from treatment to purchase some things to make muffins for the staff at school tomorrow to celebrate the good news. She is such a giver.

I personally have felt so much peace through all of this and am so grateful for the ongoing prayers and support of our family. We are so blessed to have so many incredible family members and friends whom we rely on. Please celebrate with us by expressing gratitude to our Father in Heaven for all of His tender mercies that we are a part of.
val

Time to pray and fast!

What a wonderful and uplifting weekend it was listening to the Prophet and Apostles and other church leaders during general conference. It has turned chilly around here and the wind has started to blow...a sign that fall has arrived.

This is a big week for mom. She has her brain MRI tomorrow (Monday) at 4:00 and on Tuesday at 1:20 we will hear the results from her PET Scan that she had last Wednesday. G.G. suggested that we fast on Tuesday if you are able. I will update everyone as soon as I can.

Thanks for your prayers. Love to all.
Val

Sharing My Blessings

This is Jill (mom) posting my own message today because I want to share my blessings, literally! First off, YOU are all blessings to me and I am so thankful to each of you for your friendship, your constant support through kind and encouraging words, prayer, and faith. Because I love and appreciate you so much, I want to share an experience I had this past weekend. I share it because I learned from it and know that its lessons are not just for me. We had a change in our Stake Presidency this weekend. Our Stake President, Danny Campbell, lost his wife just a few weeks ago, also to lung cancer. She had different complications than I did, but only lived 3 months after her diagnosis. Elder Snow and Elder Mundy (sp?) came to release Pres. Campbell and call a new presidency. Elder Snow happens to be the brother to a dear friend of my mom's, Carol Hatch, and she spoke to him about giving me a blessing. I received a phone call during the week to have me meet with him on Saturday at 1:00p.m. Even as I walked through the door of the church I felt the spirit so strongly that it was difficult to hold my tears. On the way to the church, my son-in-law, John Scott (Val's husband) asked what I was hoping to get from the blessing. I had already given it quite a bit of thought, and what I wanted was to know the Lord's will for me. How did he want me to be spending my time? Elder Snow asked me the same question in addition to what I have learned through this experience. I told him I have learned that we are instruments in Heavenly Father's hands. The acts of kindness and true compassion and care I have been the recipient of have been rendered by You...my friends and family. I know if Heavenly Father were here on earth, He would do these things, but he counts on us to be His hands. Elder Snow then annointed my head with consecrated oil and explained that the annointing was the most important part of the blessing. It was healing oil and the blessing given afterwards was sort of "icing on the cake." He then gave me my blessing which helped me know that Heavenly Father does know me and what I am going through and I what I need. I learned that I must be faithful and charitable toward others. He encouraged me to keep teaching as a valuable and charitable service to my students. He told me to share my faith and be a light on a hill that could not be looked away from. This is why I wanted to write today. I want all of you to know that I know God lives and loves each one of us in a personal way. Whether you are a believer in Him or not, he loves us and we are His children. I have no doubt about this fact. I was not promised a certain amount of time to live in my blessing, but I was promised I would be healed unless it was the Lord's will that I return to Him having finished my work on this earth. I can live with that. Thank you all for your continued love and support. It means everything to me. I am feeling so much better than anyone should in my position. I am having chemo tomorrow...my platelets were back up. I'll have my scans on Sept. 30th and we'll take things from there. My love to all of you! Jill

No go on #6

Mom wasn't able to complete her last round of chemo today because her platelets were too low. She got a shot to boost the numbers, a B12 shot, and a flu shot instead. I guess we wore her out this last weekend! All of the family was in town to celebrate Sarah getting baptized. We had a nice time together, but of course it went too quickly.

She is scheduled for her last round of chemo next Tuesday and has a date of Sept 30th to do some more scans. Thanks for checking in and supporting mom. Love to all.
Val

Back to School!

The past few weeks have been full. Mom spent her last few days of summer vacation in California with family and old college friends. It was a great trip for her. She came back and went back to work full force. The teachers started Monday and the kids started Thursday. She was tired, but most of the teachers were tired after the first week. She has a nice class and a lot of support from her team and others at the school.
Her 5th chemo treatment is Tuesday afternoon. We are hoping that she continues to feel well so that she doesn't miss any school. Thanks to all who visited and sent their love to her over the summer months. We know that all those positive prayers and thoughts have encouraged her in the quiet, more difficult times. Now we ask for patience as we finish out chemo and await results after the 6th treatment that is due on September 8th. We love you.
Val

"I have good news for you."

The doctor's first words were just what we wanted/needed to hear today. Dr. Manalo explained that all the tumors have shrunk 30-35%. Mom is still anemic and may begin getting a shot to help with that. She had her 4th chemo treatment today and is scheduled for two more. Then we will have scans again. If the tumors have shrunk to at least 50% she will be considered in partial remission.

We still have the brain MRI scheduled in September and will hope for the same good news then.
She got the official okay to get back to work and is looking and feeling good right now. It is truly a great relief and we cried happy tears.

We went to the temple yesterday morning and mom said that when she is there she feels almost perfect. Even the metallic taste that she is usually experiencing is gone. We know that our Father in Heaven is watching over us and is aware of our every need. Thank you so much for the prayers and good thoughts you are sending her way.
Val

Scans

Mom had her scans today to see how everything is working. We most likely will not hear the results until next Tuesday when she has another round of chemo scheduled. Mom decided that she wanted to enjoy the Pioneer Day Holiday and weekend. Jenn and boys are here and we will head up to Panguitch for some cooler weather and fun with Brian. She really enjoyed her birthday and all of the lovely greetings that were sent her way. Love to all.
Val

Happy, Happy Birthday!

Another year older and wiser too!

Mom, hope you have wonderful day full of birthday wishes. I am in awe of the woman you are. Even in major trials you have shown strenth and determination, wisdom and grace. I am grateful and humbled to be your daughter and hope to emulate just some of your incredible qualities. You are so loved by everyone who knows you. I hope you feel that today especially!

Val

So far, so good.

The third round of chemo was Tuesday. Mom has felt all right. Last night would have been the horrible night she experienced the round before. I think she has been a little more diligent about keeping up on the anti-nausea meds this time. She has been doing a little work on a quilt, watching movies, sitting at the pool with us (until the heat is too much!), and generally just taking it easy. Except the other day when I talked to her and she said she had washed the outside windows and was about to vacuum! You can't keep her down too long.

The doctor told her that she would get new scans in a couple weeks to see what the chemo and radiation have done to the cancer. It's almost harder waiting for these tests than the original tests that determined the diagnosis. She has been an amazing fighter and we are so proud of the way she has dealt with her trials.

Hope everyone is enjoying summertime. There is such a relaxing and lazy feel to the season that helps me to appreciate the little things more than usual. It's been great to see old friends and family. Hope you take advantage of catching up on things that usually get put to the side.
Val

Dancing Shoes

Mom had her dancing shoes on this weekend. We spent Saturday involved in the wedding and celebration of my cousin...Draper temple, lunch at the North Hampton House, and a reception that was a blast. Mom really got down on the dance floor and that was so fun to see.

The next few days at Yuba for the Porter reunion were relaxing. Mom took time to rest and visit. When she returned home she decided to shave her head. It took her a long time to accept the fact that it was all falling out. Here's to a fresh start.

Mom's third round of chemo is this Tuesday. After this one she will have tests to determine the effects it is having on killing the cancer.

Mom is relaxing in Panguitch for the 4th. It is a lot cooler there and she will enjoy eating at Foy's Country Corner with Brian.

July 5th is fast Sunday. We appreciate all of those able and willing to keep mom in mind during your fasting and praying. Love to all.
Val

The Today Show

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp=31532986&#31166521

Saw this on-line today and thought it was really good. So many of you have already followed the great advice given. Thank you so much.

Mom got cheesecake today!

Mom finished her last brain radiation this morning and was treated to a piece of cheesecake and a certificate signed by all those amazing employees she's been going to visit for the last month or so. She thanked them with a fruit bowl.

I must admit that I wasn't able to write this last weekend because there wasn't good news to share. Mom had a horrible night Friday night and did not sleep a wink. I showed up at the house on Saturday afternoon and, for the first time, I saw a cancer patient. I peeked into her bedroom while she was taking a nap and she did not look good. She was wearing a bandana to catch all of the hair that's falling out and her face was pale and tired looking. Sorry mom, but it's the truth! I just sat with her for a couple hours and it was a very quiet time.

Sunday she had perked up a bit and we had a nice Father's Day dinner for Brian and John. Mom visited with Adrienne and Cherrie from Danville. They kept her busy yesterday too. This morning I thought mom looked well again. She is looking forward to a visit from Marybeth and Robyn from San Leandro tonight.

Thank you again for all of your love and prayers at this time. Mom is an amazing fighter, but knows she cannot do this alone. We appreciate all of you.
Val

2nd Round of Chemo

Yesterday was the second round of chemo. Mom felt pretty well today. She took some tums tonight to help with that "indigestion" feeling. She had her 11th brain radiation today and still has all of her hair.

She had a really wonderful time in Park City for Nikki's wedding. Flying there and back really helped her energy levels stay up. She returned to spend some time with Chris and Gail. It was great to visit with both of them.

We are now looking forward to a few more visits from friends, another wedding and Porter Family Reunion... which if you are a member of that family you should visit the blog to find out the details... porterreunion2009.blogspot.com
Love to all.
Val

Just another day.

It's been awhile since the last post. Not a lot of new information. Mom had her 7th of 15 brain radiations today. Yesterday she had a really horrible headache. Today she looks like herself again. Her hair is still in...they say it will go fast when it does go.

She will fly up north tomorrow to make it to Park City for Brian's daughter's wedding. We are also looking forward to a visit from Chris and Gail (dad's brother and sister) this weekend.

I saw a stack of cards and letters that mom has received over the past weeks. I am humbled and appreciative of the love she has gathered around her. Near and far your support is felt and we are so grateful for it.

Our visiting-teaching message this month at church is about prayer. I am comforted knowing that we do have a merciful Father in Heaven that is aware of us and who continually sends blessings to us. It is through you that prayers are answered. Please continue to listen to the promptings and may you be blessed for your actions.
Val

It's party time.

Today was the last day of back radiation. Yipee. Dr. Richards said that the treatment has been successful and that the cancer is dead in those areas that were treated. Now let's keep it that way and hope that the chemo and brain radiation is getting all the other areas.

We picked out a few wigs, bandanas, and scarves yesterday. It was an emotional thing for mom. I was amazed at how the different styles changed the way she looked. Thanks Deb, our cancer care specialist! We aren't sure exactly when she will lose her hair, but it could be soon. Her second of 15 brain treatments was today.

Mom is being a good patient and is resting up and trying to eat well. The fridge is just packed! She has joined netflix so if you have any good movie recommendations send them her way.

Mom mentioned that she got a wonderful email from an old friend in Piedmont that has been through some of what she is going through. She was so appreciative of this woman's story and advice. We don't all walk in the same shoes, but it is very helpful not to feel so alone.

Becky, Jenn, Joel and I are so grateful for all of you and your support and prayers. Don't stop!
Val

Mom's comment.

Mom (Jill) here...I have cried a little, maybe a lot...and can only tell you my tears are those of gratitude for all of you and your encouragement and love. It REALLY does help me emotionally and spiritually which can only help me physically too! So thank you so very much and please continue to pray for me.

Change of plans.

Today mom had an appointment with Dr.  Hazard.  She explained the procedure that was going to take place tomorrow to kill off the three tumors in mom's brain.  Unfortunately the MRI mom had this afternoon showed 8 tumors.  They are very small and so it was decided that she will return to St. George and do a low dose of radiation over her whole brain through the course of 15 treatments.  

Initially mom was mad.  When are we going to hear some good news?  But we have come to the conclusion that this is the best course of action at this time.  She has her preliminary appointment tomorrow afternoon.  She will finish out the week getting the last of her back and hips radiated and the beginning of her brain radiation.  Side effects include hair loss, short term memory loss, and tiredness.  

We continue to be so grateful for the love and support of so many people.  Please know how much this means to mom and our entire family.  We love you.

First day of Chemo

Mom had her first chemo treatment today. She said it took longer than expected, but was feeling just fine right after. They gave her some anti-nausea meds through the IV first, and then she got the chemo. She's prepared for feeling a little extra tired and possibly nauseous as well. We will just have to see how her body reacts. Friday was her last day of school though. She got her classroom all cleaned up and turned in her key so she won't have worry about that until July.

We had a wonderful weekend in Hurricane. Val surprised her girls with a trip to Seattle to see their old friends since they hadn't been back since they moved almost two years ago. I got to go down all by myself Friday and stayed until Monday. We ate breakfast on the back porch every morning, watched a lot of movies, took mom to get some glitter toes, took a nice walk, and got some projects done around the house. It was just what the doctor ordered...for me, and I think my mom enjoyed it as well. Jenn joined us Sunday and we took a trip to the cemetery with Joel Sunday afternoon. We cleaned up dad's headstone and talked about some nice memories. We had a nice BBQ Monday for Memorial Day.

The schedule for the rest of the week includes radiation on her back every day and then Sunday mom drives up to Salt Lake to get ready for her halo fitting Monday at Huntsman and then the brain radiation Tuesday. Mom got a packet of info on that procedure this past weekend and we are now mentally preparing for it. It is a bigger procedure than we had originally anticipated. They are actually going to attach the halo to mom's head with pins and then attach the halo to the table. She will be put out completely and get some local anesthetic for the pin placement as well. Those will be bandaged up after the halo is removed and we learned that mom may experience such extreme swelling that her eyes may be swollen shut for 7-10 days. Please pray that won't be the case with her!!!

All is well though. Mom is staying on top of her pain which helps a lot. She is getting enough rest and eating very well.

We can't thank you all enough for the prayers, cards, flowers, etc. We are truly blessed. Thank you! Thank you!


Becky

It's been a tough day.

Mom has been experiencing a lot of pain from radiation. Apparently the bones can swell and it is causing her a lot of discomfort.

We have dates for her first three rounds of chemo:
May 26th, June 16th, and July 7th.
She will receive the drugs through an I.V.
That treatment will take place at the Snow Canyon Clinic.

Her one high dose of brain radiation is scheduled at the Huntsman Cancer Institute. She will go in June 1st for her fitting and then have the treatment on June 2nd.

Keep her in your prayers please!

First Radiation Treatment

Mom walked out of her first round of radiation and said, "Is it just me or do I feel better already?" She is getting hit in four spots and will do this for 15 days. The doctor said that she may feel tired through this, but really not experience any other side effects.

We go see Dr. Manalo tomorrow to discuss when to start the chemo. They can overlap so she may be getting that started soon. We also received a call from Dr. Jensen to tell us that his office would be calling soon to set up the appointment for the high dose brain zap.

Thanks again to all of you for your continued love and support. We are so blessed.

Mom got tattoos!

I know what you are thinking. "But she has been such a straight-arrow."

They are just four little dots that the radiologist will line up with the zapper when she starts radiation on her back and sides tomorrow!

We met with Dr. Richards today in St. George.

He informed us that there are actually three little spots in the brain 1.6 cm, 1.2 cm, and 1.1 cm. He agreed that the stereotactic radio treatment is an excellent idea.

Mom's favorite part of the appointment was when he was checking the reflexes of her legs and she had a pretty big kick when he hit her knee. He then said, "Let me guess. You were a cheerleader!"
We can't wait to see her doing toe-touches again.

Today rocked!

We are back from Huntsman again. We drove up and back today to meet with Dr. Jensen who is an incredible brain doctor! He sat us down and in a matter of a few minutes had our spirits high and our future looking brighter!

Here is the gist: Mom's two small tumors in her brain can be zapped with stereotactic radiation. 90% of tumors are killed off with this amazing procedure. Or she can do a low dose of radiation over the entire brain. Without being able to see the pictures of mom's brain MRI (because of some technical difficulties), but after looking at the report from Dr. Akerley the doctor recommended the stereotactic procedure. They aren't fast growing tumors and time is not of the essence. We are waiting to hear back about when this procedure will be, but it will not be until school is out.

The next steps: She meets with the radiologist down here tomorrow to talk about radiation on her back which is really giving her the most pain. She also has an appointment with her oncologist on Thursday to talk about starting chemo. We love having a plan.

Yesterday, Mother's Day, we enjoyed having all of the siblings together. We got mom an ipod so she can download some music and books. If you have any great recommendations we would love to hear them.

We are truly grateful for all of the support we have had from all around us. We know that your uplifting smiles and positive comments are medicine for the soul. Please continue to send them our way!

back from Huntsman...

We are done with our appointment at Huntsman. We really liked Dr. Haslem and Dr. Akerley. They both confirmed what we had already heard from the previous two oncologists, but they had the unfortunate responsibility of letting us know that the cancer had already spread to the brain in two spots. There are 2 dime-sized tumors; one is the the frontal lobe and the other is on the occipital parietal lobe, both on the right side of the brain. Basically, picture the right side of the hairline and a little above the right ear. Fortunately, they are not on spots that affect brain function or mobility right now. That is a blessing. But because it is in the brain, mom is not eligible for the clinical trial that looked so promising.

Mom, Brian, Val, and Joel are driving back down to Hurricane now. Jenn and I will go down for the weekend.

So, what now? Radiation on her brain is the first step. She's back up to Huntsman in Salt Lake Tuesday to work out details with the radiologist there. There are a few possibilities. They may even radiate her lower back at the same time to help reduce the pain and discomfort she has. Mom wants to finish out the last 2 weeks of school though first. After radiation she can start chemo and possibly after a few rounds of chemo she can start tarsiva and avastin, the two drugs she would be getting first if in the clinical study.

This isn't over yet. At least now there is a plan and we are moving forward with a fight. Miracles happen every day and we plan on mom being one of them that people talk about for inspiration. Thank you for all of your prayers. We know they are heard and we sincerely appreciate them.

Until Tuesday...

Becky

We're up north!

We made the drive up to Lehi this evening so that we are ready for the 11:00 appointment at the Huntsman Cancer Institute in the morning. We are gearing up for the news about the cancer going to the brain. We are all praying for the best, but preparing for the worst. Mom is ready to fight. She's taken her B12 shot, started on folic acid, and has cut out sugar from her diet. (That last one has not been easy on me!)

On a fun note, this week at school is teacher appreciation week. We had a pizza party with her 1st grade class today. I asked the kids to tell her what they appreciated most about her before they got their pizza. I heard lots of "I appreciate you teaching me everything I know." Of course one student stood out..."I appreciate that you are my grandma!" Sarah is the luckiest kid in the universe to have her grandma has her teacher! Brooklyn went to bed after getting her three stories read by grandma tonight. What a treat!

I know that everyone is anxious to hear the details of tomorrow's appointment so I will try and get to the computer as soon as I can. Until then...keep praying.
Love to all.

Deep thought from St Jack to Mom

(Disclaimer: Do not read on Sunday!)
"I prefer to call it 'kickitsassinoma". It's more appropriate considering your approach to life in general, and more importantly, it rolls off the tongue better wouldn't you say?"
Thank you Uncle Jack!

Fast Sunday

Today was fast Sunday. We broke the fast at G.G.'s house. It is wonderful to have the gospel perspective when dealing with a trial. We can just feel all of the prayers being offered on behalf of mom and the family. We are definitely so blessed to have such loving family and friends.

We do have to put the situation into the Lord's hands. We make our desires known and do all that we can, but ultimately it is not up to us. I am grateful for this scripture shared during our meeting today:

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." St John 14:27

Mom is a trooper. After church she made a casserole for a friend who had just had foot surgery. She is an amazing example of unselfish service. When I grow up I want to be just like her.